SmileyChris

Bar jokes

Rambling on about Fun 68 months ago.

I've always been a sucker for one-liner "bar" jokes - I still laugh every time I'm watching Shrek the "long face" scene comes up. Here are my top five from a larger list of bar jokes:

A cheeseburger walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

A bear walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and . . . . a packet of peanuts. The barman says, why the big pause?"

A dog with his foot wrapped in a bloody bandage hobbles into a Western saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

A guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."